So, D had arranged a shopping trip to Dallas with her friend Jennifer for this last weekend. By the way, we also volunteered to come to a “show and share” at a Dillon workshop, to answer questions about our adoption process. Guess who got to fly that event solo, with both kids in tow?
I think I blabbered for 10-15 minutes, some self-(not-so)-directed and some in response to questions from the facilitator. Only one question from the small audience. Caroline was content to be held the whole time, but Ryan had to demonstrate his extensive hopping, chair climbing, and daddy-hanging skills almost the whole time I was talking.
I hate being a blabbering idiot. More than usual, I mean. Blabbering, that is.
adoption, dillon-international
It’s funny… I had a stomach full of nerves the day before we flew to LAX to get Caroline, but by the evening I was calmed down. I was pretty copacetic the next day while D continued to be nervous. Even though we had all the delayed flights and waiting 2.5 hours for everyone to come through immigration and the rushed hand off, etc., it didn’t really induce all that much anxiety for me, at least not as I was expecting.
Strange to say, but it almost felt old hat; even this past week has been just “going through the process” so to speak. Of course, like Ryan, it may be that Caroline is just an exemplary case. Every day she’s adapting more and more, relaxing, playing, etc. Today, she didn’t even complain when Mommy left the room once or twice while she was playing with me and Ryan. The main place where I feel like it’s obvious that she’s grieving is when she cries or gets upset when she’s sleeping — and honestly, I’m not even positive if that’s grieving or just typical kid stuff.
One week down, fifty years to go.
Oh, and I’ve managed to contract a cold. Dumbass.
adoption, parenting
I’ve set this post to publish at approximately the same time I am meeting our new daughter for the first time. As you read this, I am at LAX, waiting for two of my aunts from Korea to come through customs and immigration with a 10-month old girl named Min Yeong, who we will be calling Caroline. Should be awesome.
The next two or three weeks are expected to be pretty tough, though. Caroline has been fostered since she was just a few days old, so at this age she will have already developed bonding and attachment with her foster family, and especially her foster mother. Word on the street is to expect two to three weeks of grieving, bare tolerance for the new daddy, and outright dislike of the new mommy. Fortunately, I get to take off some time from work during this transition period. Ryan will probably feel the pinch on Ryan Time, too, so that will take some management and adjustment.
Go us!
adoption, parenting
Those keeping up with Donna’s blog will know that our adoption paperwork is now likely trapped on a desk in Oklahoma City due to a CIS audit. The irksome part is that our paperwork should have been long gone by the time the audit started (and actually, it might have made it out — D will try to find out today). It would have been done if the OKC office wasn’t, apparently, the slowest in the country. It would have been done if they had someone covering the lady who was out on 3-month maternity leave that normally handles this paperwork (or so we hear).
Writing that out reminds me of the old rhyme, although without such dire consequences:
For want of a nail the shoe was lost.
For want of a shoe the horse was lost.
For want of a horse the rider was lost.
For want of a rider the battle was lost.
For want of a battle the kingdom was lost.
And all for the want of a horseshoe nail.
And people wonder why civil service (specifically) and bureaucracy (in general) have such a poor reputation. It’s funny, because bureaucracy exists ostensibly to serve the public interest, streamlining and standardizing governmental processes. Yet, like many endeavors, it is easy to fall victim to the self-serving interests of those who carry it out; gone bad, bureaucracy serves only itself, adhering to process and procedure as a sort of shield against individual responsibility.
Anyway, I digress. Wikipedia has a nice article about bureaucracy if you want to read more. Back on topic, as the guys would say: v. frustrating.
adoption, bureaucracy, cis, government, proverb